I heard others describe themselves as such, but didn’t think I was one of them. I was just a psychic.
But recently I have come to the realization that I am empathic too. And when I accepted it, everything made sense to me: like all of the times I felt uncomfortable in a crowd of people; whenever I met someone I automatically liked or disliked.
For as long as I can remember, I have been able to sense someone’s depression, happiness, or anxiety. At times, I have received information (through my clairs) about someone’s personality or past without them speaking a word. I just feel like I know them.
After my empathic epiphany, I understood why I was uncomfortable at parties when I was a child – there was too much energy movement: like an old coffee percolator. The excitement and glee was too overwhelming and I would have to call my mom to pick me up after being at a party for only half an hour.
My epiphany explained why I chose certain people to be my friends or pursued a relationship with them. It wasn’t only because we had similar interests and experiences, but because their presence made me feel comfortable and happy.
That’s not to say I haven’t had bad friendships and relationships. I have met people who seemed nice and looked like a decent person but I felt their negative energy. Despite that, I became their friend all along feeling like it would not end well. I was almost daring myself to be their friend to see if my original feelings were true.
When I have abided by my original feelings I have had good friendships, good relationships, and good experiences. And whenever I ignored those feelings I entered into bad relationships, friendships, and gotten into trouble.
As I write this, it makes me think of the common term “psychic vampire”. I think this term is incorrect and is really just an empath being overcome by someone’s negative energy. Vampires extract blood, and there is no extracting happening, more like exuding: someone’s negative energy is so strong that it overpowers an empath’s positive energy making them depressed, fatigued, etc. The whole vampire fad helped the psychic vampire phrase become coined and popular.
Accepting that I am empathic also explained why I act a certain way around people. I am not anti-social or a wall flower, but I do tend to keep to myself. When out in public, I take in situations and if I speak with someone or not either way I’m ok. I don’t force situations or conversations. Even when it comes to dating, I am kind of shy and just leave it up to fate. That’s not to say that when I feel drawn to someone I ignore it.
I am still figuring this empathic thing out and realizing things about myself. I am reliving past situations and understanding that my reactions to them were based on the feelings I was experiencing. And I’m sure I will continue to have epiphanies and continue to decide how and who I associate with based on my feelings. This isn’t going away so I need to learn to not only embrace being empathic but also how to live with it.